Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i think i have herpe
just one?
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
