There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
