That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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