Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
