Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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