Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
They have beer where we have blood.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
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