I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Randomize
