ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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