i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
