Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
