Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
