it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.