dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
