I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
True college students do jello shots in the library
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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