hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
