Can i not drive my cunt home
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
