My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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