GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
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