Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I smell stomach acid.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
