Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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