I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I am one with the molecules
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
