My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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