I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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