Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
You have to summon your inner elephant
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
my liver is dry heaving
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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