dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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