Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize