can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
i would punch a child for taco bell
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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