Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
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I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
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That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.