I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?