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I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
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