I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought