it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
false alarm, still single
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
