Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
