i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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