Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
