Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
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