Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize