I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
You pole danced in your parka.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Randomize
