Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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