My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Randomize