If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize