Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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