I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
You were trust falling into bushes
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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