I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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