i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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