The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
