I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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