These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
