well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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