Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
