I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Randomize
