Just cropdusted the office
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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