These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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