my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
