six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
