nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize