she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
