SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
where does the pee come out of this thing
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
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