I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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