I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
