I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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